Tuesday, July 24, 2007

One trick ponies? Good Lordy, no!

We have two tricks.

A couple of months back the enterprising team at Capital Ideas decided to put John Howard's Integrity on eBay.
Alas you are not permitted to sell something that DOESN'T EXIST so after two days of feverish bidding eBay pulled the item.
We then went public with this disturbing & conclusive evidence that our leader was wandering around with a complete lack of integrity (read press release on myspace blog here).
Such a pity. We really were looking forward to making a quick buck and, judging by the attention the listing got, there's a strong demand for political integrity in this country.





Howard's Integrity as seen on eBay!


Here are some inquiries made on the eBay listing by potential buyers:

Q: I was wondering how you got him south of the border? Must be some illegal entrants seeking refuge who plan to depart Melbourne Airport for a more reasonable open democracy? ( spiller888)

A: Fortunately this country has an abundance of cages capable of holding even the very small (& our product is EXTREMELY small) so we have been able to keep the integrity locked away. As for refugees – sorry we have none for sale today – It is difficult to find a mint condition refugee as they are generally damaged or destroyed soon after arrival. ( Capitalideas2007)


Q: This item, if it exists, seems priceless. I imagine George Dubbla (sic) could buy anything. What hope has an ordinary person like me against his interests? ( Thisplace59)

A: Fear not! While you are not alone in coveting this item, we are expecting bids from people who already have a little integrity of their own and wish to expand their collections. George W is not such a person. Furthermore he has never shown the slightest bit of interest in preserving Howard's Integrity and we do not expect him to start now.( Capitalideas2007)


Q: Will I save on shipping costs if I also take Tony Abbott's dignity when purchasing with you? Wait I can't find that item anymore…..( adam_foran)

A: Unfortunately DNA tests confirmed that the dignity was NOT Tony Abbott's. However, fetching samples of his nuttiness have yet to be aborted. ( Capitalideas2007)


Q: Postage? Ha! Can I keep the microscope it was viewed in for authenticity? ( Tobler.1)

A: Sorry, industrial grade microscope too large for shipment. ( Capitalideas2007)


Q: How do you respond to allegations that Johnny's integrity sank off the coast of Australia during the Tampa Crisis? ( AustraliansRus)

A: What kind of Prime Minister would throw their integrity overboard? We don't want people like THAT in this country. ( Capitalideas2007)


Q: Are you allowed to sell something that doesn't exist? ( AustraliansRus)

A: Good question( Capitalideas2007)


You see? We are so much more than just cumrags...brace yourself for bigger sparklier trickiness coming soon .x

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes - I followed your - campaign?- with interest and my theory is that it was solely responsible for Mr Howard's own recent discovery of cyberspace. I look forward to what you have up your sleeves next. Could it be something to do with the fact that, having lost his integrity, he now appears to be losing his marbles? But go easy on him - he IS 68 yrs old!